In the case of Brickz, real name Sipho Ndlovu, sentenced to 15-year jail term, after he was found guilty of raping his 17-year-old relative in 2013. The Magistrate said Brickz failed to fulfill the role of uncle (Malume) to his niece who just lost her mother. Magistrate John Baloyi said… “It’s an honour to be called uncle, Malume, Oom in Afrikaans, but you gave this title a bad name”. But one can ask what is the concept of Malume? What is the role of this institution, Malume? What comes to my mind when I hear the word Malume? my memory is filled with words like … Hamba no malume, Ingoma ya malume, umalume osaphilayo. What is Malume?
Malume is a social engineered institution created to care for human being.
"When a man and women get married. They will have children. There is a possibility that they will have problems amongst themselves, or it can happen that they are incapable of taking care of their own children whatever the reason might be, be it death, etc. So, the children must not be impacted by this, when this happens the children can crossover and go to the brother of their mother (Malume) or the sister of their father (Rakgadi). Hence, Malume is a female character, and children can cross over and go to their another mother. The children must always have love." - Mongane Wally Serote.
Important as it is, and honorable as the Judge has said, the institution of Malume comes with heavy roles and responsibilities, at times unbearable. Much is expected from Malume, as Malume you get to lead all the lobolo negotiations. Umalume is umama and naturally you are the closest to your nephews and nieces. Whenever a cow is slaughtered, you are given what is called isiphunzi which is the thick meat portion that sits between the neck and the head.
All family functions are not complete until Umalume has arrived and spoken. Umalume yidlozi lakho, if he is angry with you, you have to try by all means to fix the issues. To be Umalume can be very challenging at times, and expectations can be so high. Since everyone comes to you for all advice, they expect you not to have similar challenges. Otherwise, you are an uncle that is not worth consulting.
It is also important to distinguish between Umalume (maternal uncle) and ubabomncane /ubabomkhuli (paternal uncle). Western people call all of them uncles.
Umalume is the one who faces challenges because your sister's kids take you as their mother which means you are the mom who calls them to order when they become delinquent especially when they are still young. Once they are old some of them bakujikela njengotshwala esiswini (they turn against you like alcohol in the stomach).
Nevertheless, I have so many fond memories about my late uncle. From him I received more love than from my mother. What has been your experience?
